Sunday, November 22, 2009

Bathing in the Lap of Luxury

Directions for Taking a Bucket Bath: 
  1. Set up space heater in shower-room.  This is especially important in the winter when your apartment has no heat, but also comes in handy the rest of the year as bucket baths tend to be pretty chilly.
  2. Be sure that you have enough water saved in case you're bathing during the "off" times of the water schedule (6:00 am - 11:00 am and 6:00 pm - 11:00 pm during the week, 6:00 am -11:00 pm on the weekends).  If you have not planned ahead, or your water has been mysteriously off for the past three days and you've run out of reserves, head outside to the well to get some.  If you do have water, remember to only take from the buckets in the kitchen, as you'll need the bucket in the toilet-room to flush the toilet.
  3. Once you've acquired water, put it in a large pot on the stove and start heating.  Wait about half an hour.  At this point your water will be warm and your shower-room will be toasty from the space-heater.
  4. Very carefully carry the bucket of water into the shower-room.  Test the temperature to make sure it's not too hot.  You may have to dilute it a little with cold water.
  5. Strip down and stand in the bathtub.  Try to ignore the instant profusion of goosebumps all over your body.
  6. Ladle water over your head.  Three full ladles should do it.
  7. Lather down with soap.  Clean off with a few more strategically placed ladles.
  8. Shampoo hair.  Rinse with three ladles full of water.
  9. Apply conditioner.  Pour the rest of the water in the bucket over your head.  Hope that you get most of the conditioner out since this is your one shot.
  10. Quickly get dressed in your standard three layers of clothing.
  11. Put the space heater in the next room you're planning on using and turn on high.
  12. Resume day feeling mildly cleaner.

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